What is it about men in power? During the past years, I have noticed that I am drawn to them. It is not about money, no physical appeal, there is something about men who are superior to me that really ticks a box.
The first one was someone while I was still studying. He was experienced and witty and taught me a lot. He took me under his wings and did not let me off easy, I had to prove I knew the field. He was far from handsome: a middle-aged man with mild overweight. Still, one morning I woke up next to my boyfriend of the time with a memory of a wild sex dream about this man. Since then, I notice that his name triggers something in me, and I am extremely fond of him.
The second one was from the same field. I was an intern and he was my boss. He was somewhat handsome, and I had heard he gets the most beautiful results in his job that people have ever seen. He was charming, in his teasing way and sometimes he came up with remarks that made me tick. He hinted that he wanted me.
It went on for long, we kept messaging each other even though I was not in the same town. I kept telling him it was inappropriate because I am his subordinate and he told me not to worry about it because at that moment I did not work there. We were only two people chatting. I broke it off, when I weighed the possible outcomes and decided that it could completely ruin my career.
Nothing happened with neither of them, but even the memory of having had these two men near me gets me excited.
The third one, it happened by accident. He was my peer, someone in a relationship that I had an affair with. Later, it turned out that he will later on be my boss. It freaked me out and turned me on.
What is it about bosses, really?
Did I want something from them? When I think about it, honestly I would say no. I have never had to encounter a situation so far thet I would have to sleep myself into an advanced position. On the contrary, really. If my relationship, no matter it was Platonic to the second man got out, it might have made it more difficult for me to get ahead. Word gets around in these circles.
It is the power they have over you. It is the professional admiration and their excellence in what they do. It is the inappropriate aspect of the whole relationship. It is truly invigorating.