A generalisation of all those poor souls I have dragged home and kicked out in the morning, who I have cuddled and brewed coffee for. Those whose names I do not remember or whose numbers I did not get or have thrown out. To be fair, I do like one-night stands, I like the thrill of the pick up.

I have heard countless times that a one-night stand is nothing compared to a long-term partner who you know inside and out. True, partly. The whole point in hooking up on a once-in-a-lifetime basis is the excitement that comes with a new partner. Frankly, out of all of my one-night stands, only about 1% has been on the level of “meh” or worse. In general, my hook-ups have been more than satisfying. Here you go ladies, here’s my formula:


You only need sex

From what I have noticed, the key attribute to a successful one-night stand is his looks and his looks only. You do not want to know them; and honestly, the best looking ones are not even worth getting aquainted with.

If you want a good fuck, admit it. Do not fool aroung playing hard to get or ladylike. If you want sex, choose a partner to satisfy that need.


Pick out your options early enough

If you’re at a bar or a club or anywhere with alcohol, decide on the prospective partners early enough and do not go home with anyone else later when you’re drunk. Choose when you’re relatively sober so you can be happy with your choice even with your earth-shattering hangover.


You go pick up the one you want

For christ’s sake do not sit at the bar all “sexy sipping this cocktail of mine” pouting your lips and waiting for a charmer to come pick you up and offer you a drink. That way you’ll only end up with an over-excited little guy way below your league or a total cunt who will get what he needs and leave you with nothing but maybe a scare of pregnancy.

Go and pick the guy you want. Open the conversation, move closer, be funny, and be obvious enough about what you want. They will come with you the second you tell them that it’s time to head home.


Do not expect anything more

One-night stands are not for everyone, sure thing. Some people want commitment and romance and are not happy with the simple physical aspect of intimacy, that is fair enough.

Be honest with yourself: if you expect even the least bit more than simple sex, pass on it please. Nothing ruins the memory of an awesome night than a broken heart and the feeling of having been used afterward.